Ripples In My Mind

The little devil

2011-05-23T11:39:00.002+01:00

He bites, spits and screams his head off,

He kicks, scratches and refuses to lie down,

He wriggles,pees and makes me feel helpless,

Just when I throw up my hands in exhaustion,

He snuggles and flashes one of his fleeting sleep grins,

And I lay there besotted for life,

The little devil sure knows his tricks !!

The wait...

2011-02-01T13:54:00.005Z

I wait for the day you'll enter this world, kicking and screaming
I see a rainbow and imagine how you'll stare at it wide eyed the first time you see one
There is a snow fall and the ground is carpeted in white
The sun comes out and for a moment it looks like there are diamonds on the ground
How I wish you could see that.
I wonder if these things would even make sense to you
Will you snuggle with me on a rainy night and spin out imaginary tales
Or just dismiss me as an incurable romantic...
ah..the wait ..

Moral science class

2010-08-30T15:22:00.004+01:00

Do you remember those unending moral science lessons we used to have at school? The ones where there was always a moral of the story at the end and how the teacher tried all the tricks just stopping short of drilling a hole into your brain and stuffing into it.

Well,our dear,kind and well meaning friends from bollywood, Karan Johar (with a 'K') and Shahrukh (marketing) Khaaann (from the epiglotis) decided that all eez infact not well with the world (as the other khan said),and that it was time the world got its moral science lesson from no less than the self proclaimed moral men of the hindi movie industry !!

And so they set upon in their mission of making "save the world " sorry, "my name is khan" (although the former suits it better). Now there is nothing wrong in making feel good movies or movies that are made to send home a message.

But when every scene in the movie(right from the titles) begins and ends with a "moral of the scene " narrated by no less than moral khan himself in that droning,flat voice for 3 hours I seriously begin praying for superman (cue:Homer simpson) to save me.Agreed that the leading man is autistic and that he cannot feel emotions,but how on earth does he wish that he could cry like his brother does? I mean, isn't that an emotion for god's sake ??

Picture this: Moral khan is in the middle of a busy road (in US of A) and suddenly gets a panic attack. He is on a tram track and the speeding tram just stops short of ramming into him. Everyone gets out and crowds around the man making him panic even more. Time for introduction of lady love. What does she do? Does she physically move him to the other side of the road and calm him down? Does she offer him water? No,people,this is a KKKaran johar movie. So out comes miss smarty pants and goes about offering a lecture on courage,facing life,struggling through life and basically all that an autistic man caught in he middle of the road in a panic attack doesn't want to hear. Now that is a master directorial touch.

After 30 minutes of sitting through this torture, I started feeling as if I was sitting on a chair waiting to be electrocuted. The endless phoenetic lessons on how to pronounce "Khan" didn't help much in reducing the pain.

So I'm off now to make my prayashcithams that my josiyar advised me to fulfill to wash off the sin.
3 back to back viewings of "Rain man" and one full reading of class V moral science book.

PS: Appeal to KKaran Johar. Please go back to making your "Krap" movies. Yes,they were no better,but at least I didn't end up feeling like stabbing the first living thing I saw !!

PPS:Mr.Saarukhan,we loved you as Rahul,Raj,Jai romancing in Alps. If that and the fact that you've been around from my school days have give you so much confidence that you can unleash such torture upon us, I take back all those wolf whistles,crushes etc that I had once upon a time.
Experience cannot in any way make up for talent. And that is the reason we love Rajinikanth. He sticks to what he does best,punch dialogues and feel good movies. Thalaivar vaazhga !!( ok that was unnecessary,but who cares ;-) )

Why Oh Why ??

2010-08-30T15:12:00.004+01:00

Why is it that in most Indian movies the hero always has a side kick who exists mainly to provide comic relief,but also doubles up (or quadruples should I say) as a friend,philosopher and guide to the main man,while the poor leading lady is left all alone fending for herself.

So this is what I want to ask the "directors" even all those multiplex centred,shooting in abroad,yash raj,karan johar financed, yuppie ones !!

1.I agree you are a man (straight or gay,I don't care), and you can only think from a male perspective.But then stop saying that this is a "woman centric" movie and the woman has a "meaty"role.

2.When a guy is independent and career oriented,he still has a few at least sensible/not so sensible friends whom he can share a laugh with. When a girl is independent,she generally has no friends to start with or immediately lets go off all her friends to prove a point.why ?? I mean even the most arrogant,self centred,self obsessed women would need a few arrongant, self centred friends.

3.Why do the few friends that the girl seem to have always have to act so retarded and always seem to be in eternal fits of giggling. Yes,we girls giggle. In fact during college years we have attracted numerous raised eyebrows,and shaking heads during our gigglathons. But guys grow up !! This kind of stereo typing is as stupid as showing all guys as lecherous, rogues fantasizing about females all the time. But we know you are not that ..at least not always,right ?

The Curse

2010-08-26T09:34:00.002+01:00

Her fears,tears and hesitations were not only hers. Her imaginations and dreams were not only hers. They were the same as so many others. So many others who were born along the same time as her, carrying the curse, the curse of cancerians. The curse that they have to brood about their past to the extent that they can never see the future. That they have to wallow in self doubt and insecurity making them hate themselves. That they will always try to please everyone and try becoming someone that they are not,that they can never be and end up being no one, not even their own self. That they wet their pillows fearing their future and worrying over the past and not enjoy the present.

They were not a passionate breed, they never really chased anything or anyone with passion. Little things comforted them and they got distracted easily.Even the disappointment of non achievement didn't fire them up. Though it haunted them, till their grave.

It had taken her so long to realize this. This omnipresent truth that there were millions like her in this world who have made decisions,taken initiatives only to see their self doubt completely take over themselves and make them go back into their shell.But she had also realized this.This other more powerful truth about the ones who have succeeded,probably not in the eyes of the world but in their own eyes.Succeeded in breaking self made barriers.

She was one of those brooders... forever covering herself in self pity. Forever blaming the whole world for all that she could have been but was not.But she had had enough. Enough of her tears, fears and hesitations. She could take no more of herself, at least her old pitiable, weepy self. She wanted to break free and see what the world looked like outside her shell.

And that she did. But not before burying it safely , just in case ...

musaafir hoon yaaron...

2010-08-20T10:11:00.001+01:00

musaafir hoon yaaron,
na ghar hai, na thikana,
mujhe chalthe jaana hai,
bas chalthe jaana...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nCi5kwD1Y8

Ring in the new ...

2010-07-27T09:19:00.002+01:00

Trying out a new look for the blog. Hoping to try out diferent ones in the coming days . It's summer after all (well, we do get to see quite a lot of the "sun" ). Just changed the template today, got to do a few more changes later on. Hold your breath ;-)

Hail Dustin Hoffman

2010-06-05T22:59:00.003+01:00

Just as a "prayashchitham" (can't remember the exact word in English) for y'day's 3 hours crap in the name of movie, I went on to watch that one movie I've been wanting to watch since the day I discovered Dustin Hoffman .. "Kramer vs Kramer". No words are enough for this film or the man. He is a truly a wizard ., and he keeps you spell bound when he is on screen. I've often caught myself gaping at the screen forgetting to blink.

It was "Tootsie" that introduced me to his artistry. (Yep the hollywood avvai shanmughi along with Mrs.Doubtfire ). You have to watch him for just the ease in which he flip flops between the male and female characters and the dead pan humour. Classic !!
And then of course , "The Rainman". How interesting could you make a character that can feel no emotions?? No laughter,no tears, no anger..nothing.Just a smile once in a while, ohhh..and still you could watch him for 120 mins without even realizing it.

And now, Kramer vs Kramer. Don't have the words. Just watch the 2 silent scenes where the kid and Dustin make breakfast and eat it without a word. Pure poetry :-)

I must remember these when I watch crap and wonder why they call movie making an art and actors as artists !!

Rajneeti - as messy as politics

2010-06-04T23:44:00.002+01:00

okay, just completed a marathon viewing of Rajneeti on one of those zillion websites which apparently put up fantastic copies of movies on the day of release. stop, please dont give me the moral sermon that I'm single handedly bringing down the movie industry..blah,blah. Here I am as close to the arctic as one can get in Finland (lovely country, no complaints) where ,forget about Hindi, even listening to English is as rare as darkness in summer (yes it doesnt get dark at all. its 1 am and the sky looks like 6 pm in India !!! ).

Anyway,enough of my stories, lets get to the movie. I was tempted into this by the trailers and I now feel that the trailers had the best parts of the movie (like most other movies !) ! No really !!
I mean , if you arrive 5 mins late in the theatre, then that is how much Naseeruddin Shah's screen time is . Why the hell have a promo for him ?? I really feel conned .

And why so much "shudh hindi" ?? I don't know if people really speak like this in hindi "heartlands" as they are called, but spare a thought for the "aam aadmi" my dear director. It took me 15 mins into the movie to get my mind and ears used to it.

NanaPatekar looks and sounds so good without his trademark ranting and shouting. Ajay Devgan broods,stares and delivers dialogues as he has done in 100 other romantic,action,emotional characters. God knows what people find in him. If all you want is a wooden performance make a tree stand and dub for it the next time. Manoj Bajpai acts and overacts. Ranbir Kapoor sleepwalks through the movie. I even spotted his eyes being half closed in the climax murder scene. (no he was not fainting !! )

The best performances were from Arjun Rampal and surprise,surprise Katrina Kaif. Arjun was really natural as the brash politician and Katrina's was the only character that had a proper graph and she really has made good use of it. And her own voice sounds so much better than those stupid sweet voices she is given in other films.

The story is Mahabharatha and Godfather put in a blender with some desi sentiments and songs added. The first half was all right, thanks to the uncountable number of characters and each one's introduction keeps the story moving. But once the director runs out of any more characters, he runs out of the story as well. I mean how bad can you direct a scene of Kunti revealing to Karna that he is her eldest son?? The scene just fizzled out like a can of opened diet coke. Neither fizz nor punch ! I can still remember how beautifully Maniratnam had done it in Thalapathy with Rajnikanth and Srividya. It still gives me goose bumps.

Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about every scene. Just felt like giving out about this epic s**t.

PS: This is what happens when your read and watch those numerous film reviews!! By the way the * in the last word are not my ratings ;-)

Of Idlis,vadas and volcanoes

2010-04-16T09:05:00.005+01:00

Nostradamus was right on the spot when he said " the day the idlies turn dark, the skies will turn dark too" or was it the other way around "the day the skies turn dark with ash cloud from a fire spitting volcano under a glacier in an island in the middle of nowhere ...the idlies will turn dark " .

After months and days of planning and replanning and mindless running around , the big 4 (both our parents) were supposed to start tonight for their much talked about trip around europe. And that is when i thought i would impress them with my culinary skills and make them divine idlies and I soaked the rice and the dal. And this was where it all started !! All I needed half a cup more of this dal . Being the good "home maker " that I am , I always run out of things before realizing I dont have additional inventory, and then my crisis management skills come to the fore !!

Ok, I digress. I didnt want to use the poor cousin,the spilit urad dal (for idlies, thats blashphemous, thats the thalikara paruppu , you lesser mortals ), and went in for the big daddy , the whole black uraddal. But the gods had already spoken . No amount soaking in "hot " water could make it shed its coat !! Thats the story then , of my idlies going from fair and lovely to the unlookable!!

So yes I did it !! The moment I soaked in the black dal, the gods of idlies and medhu vadas(what, we dont have one ??!! I thought they had a picture in saravan bhavan) had had enough " this woman who makes idlies that are good enough to be the next WMDs, medhu vadas without holes, upmas that could compete with fevicol and eats cornflakes for breakfast is a disgrace to our race, and they spewed out tons and tons of venom and fire and ash !

And there my friends is my confession. Stop !! before even you start cursing me , i want to let you know, that justice has been swift !! Yes , my mixer died on me. It just stopped working when i was in the middle of the sinful act .

I'm now decoding the predictions on appalam like phulkas and tooth breaking chholes !!

PS: I know I sound better when I'm pouring my heart out when something goes wrong cursing the whole world than when I try to be funny !! Bear with me..I'm trying to remain upbeat and trying hard to see a silver lining in the ash cloud ;-) (there I go again !! )

On my lips now ...

2010-01-29T08:24:00.003Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jMBsIUuvdA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt8kAQMYbJU

Things that make me PUKE !!!

2008-12-01T14:44:00.005Z

*The age old (probably a british legacy) rifles that our policemen sported fighting the "terrorists" armed with grenades and AK 47s.Thank god for the NSG & Army.

*The new age "english" news channels telecasting terror attack 24/7 punctuating it with "these shots are exclusively shown on xxxx" (c'mon guys show some shame!!)

*Reporters showing us the aftermath of the attack on Taj and crying over burnt antique carpets and rare books and historical heritage pieces,when an equal number of lives were lost at CST.(probably a businessman's life or an antique carpet lost is equal to 5 aam aadmi's life in their world)

*A British survivor narrating her tale says "i was relieved when I saw the Indian gurkha arrive" ..My dear honourable lady ,for christ's sake he was a policeman and not a "gurkha"..take off your imperialist blinders for a moment please!!!

*Mr.Mammohan Singh in his address to the nation saying this attack comes from a "neighbouring country"!! oh that is such a great find!! i felt like shaking him at that precise moment !!with all due respects to his education and qualifications,I would've cheered if he had said that this came from militants in pakistan and we would not spare them even at the risk of sounding like george bush. To hell with his oxford and cambridge diplomacies!!

*the talk of "Spirit of Mumbai" and "spirit of India"...c'mon,after all this I have no spirit left in me at all.and if you are suggesting that the common man going back to work shows his spirit then you have got it wrong.what would a man earning Rs 20 a day,without a semblance of savings , do for his next meal if he doesn't go to work the next day after an attack?? it is not about spirit but survival.and btw it is only the business bigwigs surviving the attack who sat at their home watching TV and narrating their tales of survival,who could afford to not work till things get back to normalcy.

*Lighting candles for the martyrs!!! how long are we going to be doing these stupid symbolic Rang De basanti gestures !! If you really want to show your anger and distress march to the parliament/assembly and sit till those stupid politicians propose measures for tackling the issue and see to it that they implement it.

*people who say "I'm tired of indian politics,that's why I never vote".Guys,are you so stupid that you don't understand?? If you don't vote ,your vote will be cast by somebody for a party you don't support.ok if you don't support any party then don't complain.you have to choose a lesser evil,that's the choice we've got.

You can only choose between an inactive congress and a hyperactive BJP (at the national level),if you don't like them,then come up with an option,else don't complain.Just because you don't vote,these puppets in the parliament don't care about you and are not wary of you and they only cater to the so called voting masses and patronise them.

Madurai Veyil

2008-10-13T15:30:00.004+01:00

the first thing that hits you(literally) as soon as you land in madurai is the heat !!! "madurai veyilla kazhudai kooda suthadhu" were words that rang in my ears(courtesy:my granny) almost everyday that i came back home roasted,burnt and dehydrated after all the "oor suthal". meaning not even donkeys roam around in madurai heat.

but paati,what do you do if the weather report reads hot,hotter and hottest all through the year!! stay at home she would say, but i chose the other option ..roam around as much as you can and get to the point where you no longer feel the heat ,you and the heat become one and the same ..

yeah chennai is also hot,infact the whole of tamilnadu except for those summer getaways kodai & ooty are always hot.but madurai veyil(heat) is something unique.feel it to know it. anyway it never deterred us from exploring the nook and corner of this city and we got so used to it that the once in a blue moon showers had us whining !!

the daily "ilaneer" (tender coconut) outside our college,the jigardhanda(a drink unique to madurai),the mug full of fruit juice in pazhamudircholai near periyar bus stand,the juicy,mouth watering melon pieces near arasaradi which we ate (licking the juice flowing to the elbow as if our life depended on it) all the way through the walk back home ...i bet you can't get these in a cool country !!

but what stays on are these..the paati selling the ilaneer dispersing some "gems"(!!) on how girls should behave seeing us girls giggling away , the annas selling juice at pazhamudhircholai and the akka at the melon shop ( not a shop really just a "thallu vandi-mobile trolley kind of ) saying endearinlgy" nalaikku kuudu da , parava illa" in that typical madurai lilting tamil( you can give it tomorrow dear,its ok)when you don't have the Rs 2 change for a piece of melon..

the nostalgia express

2008-10-13T15:00:00.004+01:00

have been doing so much of blog hopping for the past 2 weeks and found a bunch of really interesting blogs.it was while reading one of these that i found myself going back in time...(imagine old movies' style tortoise mosquito coil going round and round).

It sucked. Dabbler hit the nail when he said nostalgia sucks..it means that you are growing old and things you grew up with are slowly but surely disappearing. anyway am not so old (!!) and i still have time to say all these things.still, a trip down the memory lane sure does give you a "i- don't- know- how -to- say- it- but- you- have- to- feel- it " kind of feeling!!!

after reading these blogs of mostly original,agmark tamilians i found the love of "chennai" run through their blogs..and this triggered a flurry of thoughts which threaten to explode my head if i don't put them down!!

Madurai !!! one word that can make me sit up from the deepest of sleep (well..that's a bit of an exaggeration!! ) and strain my ears to the point of them of growing an inch bigger even if i hear a passing reference to it.

i can go on and on on this place where i spent the best 6 years of my life ...but one post would not be enough. so will just put up things as and when they pop in my head and excuse me if i sound biased,coz i can't help it..

...

2008-10-09T15:09:00.004+01:00

“If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you ever got.”

stumbled upon this when reading something from somewhere !!! found it interesting ...

The Omnipotent

2008-09-11T16:31:00.004+01:00

there is one thing in this world that is omnipotenet and omnipresent. no i'm not talking about god.this exists even for atheists.this has made people fight,steal,beg and even kill each other.there are stories dating back to 2nd century B.C ..well forget it...it's hunger.

it starts clawing at around 3.45 in the evening( my stomach what else..) and then it starts rumbling and grumbling and howling.. i've tried eating anything and everything..from the junk ones to the msot healthy ones..chips,biscuits,cake and everytime it only pretends to calm down only to result in a cramp that doesnt go off till dinner.

still, unwilling to give up i tried a golden vegetable quick soup today.first sip,hmm..not bad. 2nd sip.. i push my taste buds to their extreme..send them on a taste finding mission.they come back with this.. salt + lots of hot water + a few leaves (dried) + lots of tiny stuff in red,green and other attractive colors.they couldn't really find out what they were.

now it was left to my eyes to complete the mission.and i should tell you that they did a great job .those tiny little,colored bits were actually ..hold your breath ..VEGETABLES!! can you believe it..cut into unidentifiable pieces, lives squeezed out of them,dried and flattened,those poor veggies had been slaughtered.they were dead and floating.

after such a tiring mission my eyes and tongue deserved a treat and they did get it..hot & steaming bowl (cup) of golden vegetable quick soup.

Tagged!!

2008-09-02T13:04:00.003+01:00

well,got a lot of things to write about but unable to make myself do it.so taking the easy way out by accepting the tag by sriram !!

LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: "No country for Old men" at a theater in Athlone. a psychotic thriller with just 6 more people for company in a 100 seater screen.had nightmares that night and had to read the wiki the next day for the actual story(which turned out to be quite different from what i had understood!!!)

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING: none..the last one was Ayn rand's "Fountain head" 2 months back.

FAVORITE BOARD GAME: is "paramapadham" (snakes & ladders) considered a board game??

FAVORITE SOUND: birds chirping on a quiet morning/evening,nothing can beat the serenity of this.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: loneliness

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE: oh!! what to cook for lunch ???

FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE: Bethleem pizza -right opposite our home,delicious pizzas & burgers (even a non pizza lover would love them)

FUTURE CHILD’S NAME: girl -Deekshanya boy- Aaditya

DO YOU DRIVE FAST? Do I drive ???

DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? not really ;-)

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? well, i don't own a car all by myself..so my dad's first car was maruti omni and ours was a (my husband & mine) Volkswagon Polo saloon.

FAVOURITE DRINK: ginger & elaichi tea

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? never tried a broccoli,often wondered how it would taste

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? red!!! that would be outrageous !!!

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH: cricket (once upon a time..now only the scores),tennis and football occassionally.

ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: ok..do i really have to answer this ?? ;-) anyway..for all the 100 different things he does,talks about or blogs..i definitely think he has a stable head at a not so stable age !!

WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? mostly slippers

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? yes of course...may be with a less active tear gland!!

MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? a bit of both..depends on what keeps me up or gets me to wake up

FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? on the bed,with the duvet pulled up and with a movie on the laptop.

Princi !!!

2008-07-28T11:09:00.008+01:00

As he came in,hands folded behind,face stern and angry with the meek peon following him with a cane in hand,the class just fell silent in fear. " who is the class leader?? " he grunted..and i stepped up shaking ,with tears just about to stream out any moment."is this the way you monitor the class?" " sorry sir " i said. "ok.give me the names of all the students who were speaking in Tamil". "ok sir" i said and he left.

"i hate him".that was my first impression of him.i hated him from the bottom of my heart. he was our new principal Mr.Shanmugam.we had just entered the 6th class,came into the new "senior school" from the junior one (which had classes KG to 5) thrilled and excited.basically both the junior and senior schools belonged to the same institution,just physically separated.the senior one being situated in the outskirts of our small town,in the midst of a beautiful and scenic location.(more about the school in a different post).but now, all that excitement was dampened by just one factor, the new princi.

he was a lot different from the previous ones we had.here was a man for whom "discipline" ,"order","punctuality" were not just words.he was tall,well-built and had a powerful personality with a voice well suiting it.he was widely travelled,well educated,had worked in a number of distinguished schools,the last was as a principal of a school in Fiji.

my first thought was, "what is he doing here??" i mean, ours was a small school,by no means popular except for the fact that it was run by the chinmaya mission and this was a "small" town somewhere down in south tamilnadu. we sat in groups during our 10 min breaks, the lunch breaks and basically wherever we met, discussing about him,moaning and cursing him."why didn't he go to chennai?"." why did he come here?".

well the list of complaints against him were long.but most of all he broke all the traditional rules for a principal.

principals were supposed to sit all day in their office doing some crap,just show their face in assemblies, render some speeches on things nobody cared to listen and just smile when they meet students.

he travelled in the school bus , got in at the first stop and sat in a two seater occupying 3/4 of the seat with "The Hindu" occupying him ( or so we thought) for the whole journey. we lost our freedom to gossip and shout in the bus.

he walked around most of the day,shrewdly observing everyone and everything he saw.his daily assembly talks were always about the bad things he had noticed the previous day.

we were made to pick up garbage (like plastic bags etc) wherever and whenever we saw them.
we were not supposed to chase peacocks around for feathers( yes peacocks!!).
worst of all, we had to talk in english, always !!!

now this was something unheard of in our school's annals,nobody had ever laid such a rule.english was just a subject,but how could we talk in it for 8 hours??? "you can speak good english, only when you think in it",he said in the assembly once. "oh ,there he goes" we thought,now he has started policing our thoughts too!!!

the assemblies now had 1 student talk on some interesting topic for 2 mins and another one read the news headlines.so now we had to break our heads for the assembly topic and my legs shook when i stood before the school addressing it.(there was once a funny episode when a student didn't have the time to write down the news and started reading it out right from the newspaper in the assembly.the principal's face was a sight to watch !!! )

he started teaching the english paper 2 classes.the only class which was fun and full of stories and didnt have to be taken seriously was now filled with his baritone reading out "the mayor of casterbridge" and others, to a class forgetting to even blink for a moment. we did not utter a word in his class for fear of our english being corrected by him.we had to write character sketches of all the characters in the story and each one had to be unique.no copying!!.

the school timings were increased by an hour in the evening.he introduced student clubs for journalism,quiz, dramatics and gardening which got together twice in a week after classes.so 2 days of our play time gone!!!

well, the list was endless. he had spoilt every minute of our school life.there were rumours that even the teachers hated him.

so when he left the school,after 4 years of his reign,we were delighted and overwhelmed with happiness.

slowly,things changed. my legs and voice didn't shake as much as before, in the school day plays and elocution contests.i could write on any topic thanks to my journalism club activities.my quiz club participation had definitely sparked off a small interest and my general knowledge was better than before (which was 0!! ) though limited to GK books. most of all,the small,insecure underconfident girl who was just good in academics was beginning to take slow steps towards other actitivities. he had made me discover things about myself which i would have never done on my own.

when i got the best all round student award in my last year in school, a lump rose in my throat. he had passed away, cruelly,in a road accident in chennai some time back. how i wished i could take back all my curses and the bitter remarks.how i wish i could just meet him once and tell him all that i wanted to say and watch that rare smile brighten his face.

i don't believe in heaven and hell but i know that he lives in my memories.

Postscript

2008-07-24T14:53:00.004+01:00

whew..feeling better now after completing the epic on my wedding.i tried my best to make it short,but i didn't want to leave out the details either.

looking back, i feel that i really enjoyed my wedding even though i felt drained and tired at that point.yeah i do feel indian weddings are fun whatever way you see them.

these posts are more of something which i can go back and read a few months or even a few years later and relive the experience. of course if someone happens to stop by to read and likes them in some way it is a bonus !!!

Day 3 ..and a half

2008-07-24T14:42:00.003+01:00

the last day of the wedding began on a more sobre note compared to all the hype the previous 2 days.only a few relatives were left in the mandapam.i had to draw the 'kolam' in front of the groom's room(my new home ;-) ) .after changing over into another (and the last!! ) saree,the final ritual began.all the ladies (including me,no longer a girl!!)dissolved the 'paalikai' (a mixture of various grains) in water ( not sure what it meant though).

it was time for us to leave for our new home(the actual one).i didnt know what i had to tell my parents and i felt that the formal good byes were just unnecessary.my dad being the emotional man he was,stayed away from me the whole morning,for fear of breaking into tears.

my sister managed to lighten the situtation by cracking a few jokes.i never thought i would cry,though i am a very sensitive person who could cry at the drop of the hat.but somehow,the emotion of the moment was too much to bear and i broke down at the steps of the mandapam hugging my dad.thank god for someone managed to pull me away and gathered myself up.

off we went to our new home and a new life!!

Nalangu -end of Day2

2008-07-24T13:12:00.006+01:00

my dad patted comfortingly on my shoulders.he was feeling all that a girl's dad would have felt at that moment.proud,happy and relaxed after the hectic five months preceding the wedding.

congratulations poured in and everyone shook hands with everyone !!

me and S were back to the final set of rituals.my mami slipped the 'metti' (silver ring) on my toes.we then performed the 'sapthapathi' ,the 7 important steps.each one signified a commitment to support each other through happiness and sorrow,health and illness and so on.i stepped on the 'ammi' (the grind stone) and saw the star (din mein taare!! )..or pretended to see the star 'arundhathi'.

coming down from the mandapam,we performed the namaskarams to everyone.it was almost a chase down at the end,with people hurrying for lunch and we hunting them down with 'akshadhai' ( the sacred rice) in hand ;-)

we were now led into the groom's room for 'grihapravesam'. this was because my in-laws home was not in chennai and the change room was now my 'new home' !!!.almost all the ladies present crammed themselves into that room. the power was not restored in that room yet and it was a stampede in the dark. more paal and pazham followed.

went up for lunch and another round of food-phobia continued with me eating as little as possible.i think the payasam was good.anyway,i finally retired to the cool comforts of my room.shut out everyone from there and unloaded the weight off my head.changed into another saree,this was my 8th in 1 1/2 days (what a feat!! ).i dozed off with random thoughts running on my mind.

people started knocking and i was out of my sleep in 10 mins.i looked on as my friend(sree) and sis folded up the sarees and clothes lying around.my cousin sriram came in.i still feel bad that the only time we could meet, happened to my wedding.we have conversed so much on emails and chats that i found it strange that i couldnt think of anything to talk about then.

he declared that the crowd was too old for him,to which i could agree,but that he was enjoying being at a wedding for 2 days for the first time.showed me a gadget( guess it was an mp3 player),to which i managed to show some interest.( he couldn't have chosen a worse person to show it off).

time for another change over,this time it was the 'nalangu'.this was supposed to be a relaxing event,after all the tiring rituals over 2 days. however it turned out to be a never ending one.
with people looking at us from all sides and my athai and dad's mama sitting beside us to instruct, the nalangu began.

it was fun to begin with, me and S rolling the coconut and then trying to take it from each other's hand.we then broke the 'appalams' over each other's back.then came my most dreaded moment,the one where the bride had to sing.i had often wondered in the past few months over how to tackle this and my reactions ranged from walking out to just staying silent.i couldn't do any of that now.to add to my misery,my mil was a trained classical singer,and most of my in-laws family could sing.

i did learn to sing for 3 years,but all that was less than a memory now.well, i managed to mumble out 'muda karatha' and before anyone could realise what i sang ,i ended it with a sheepish smile. now all the athais and paatis were asking me to continue in a louder voice. to my relief my mil came to my rescue and asked S to sing. he 'sang' paartha mudal naale,in his loudest voice and no one wanted to him to carry on.still i admired his courage.

people then started singing,dancing and performing skits that it began to resemble an school day performance.i thought i could doze off by just sitting there.finally,it was over to our relief.

wishes and goodbyes followed.things started to sink in as people began to leave one by one.a pang of loneliness hit me,not sure why.i felt all alone among new faces. i would not be going back to my home now, i had a new home,new amma and appa,new chithis and athais.everyone was showering love but i felt sick. sick of this whole stuff and of leaving my home,my dad and mom and sis, my cupboards and everything.

wonder how guys feel during this time,given that most couples stay away from both their parents now a days.S told me later that he did feel strange but it was not that bad.i was emotionally drained.

Day2-The D day

2008-07-04T15:00:00.010+01:00

The day started early.woke up around 4 am,brushed,bathed and put myself in the hotseat for yet another round of make up.this time i was determined to not let it be overdone.so i literally begged the beautician to tone it down to which she pretended to have listened.this time it was a more traditional hair do. lots of flowers, nethi choodi( on the forehead) , rakkodi ,chandra and surya prabhai and with the lady sticking shining white bindis to resemble stars, i was carrying the entire solar system on my head.

my mama garlanded me and i was led to the front of the mandapam accompanied by my athais,chithis and cousins.i have seen these events in numerous weddings but to actually go through them in one's own wedding is quite an experience.i was nervous and stiff so much so that i wasn't even smiling.i was telling myself that i ought to be happy now, but all i could wish for was all this to be over soon .i was becoming too conscious.

out in the front of the mandapam, S was waiting with a huge crowd of people after being brought back by my father half way through the ceremonial "kasi yatra".wonder why we stick to a few customs even when they are not really relevant in today's world. still it was a sight to see him in pancha kacham carrying the umbrella and the decorated fan.he still teases me saying "i wish your dad hadn't stopped me".

we exchanged garlands amidst the ladies singing "maalai maatrinal".when i had to be lifted up, my mamas couldn't really muster enough strength.but my dearest cousin ramana managed to lift me up really high, single handedly and he had to bring me down a few inches for S to reach me.that was fun and i felt a little relaxed after that seemingly childish and light hearted ritual.

we were made to sit on the "oonjal"(swing) and then started the intake of "paal and pazham"( milk and bananas).Every known/unknown person(strictly ladies) had to give us 3 spoons of this protein rich diet.thanks to my mother's idea that we could use some small "kinnams"(containers) instead of the hand , my saree was saved from being spoilt by dripping milk.

S was eating all of that happily and poor me.. i couldn't even raise my head enough to swallow the fruit due to the heaviness of my hairdo and had to be content with sipping the milk.we had to fast(starve!!! ) till the time the wedding was complete.in his enthusiasm S started swinging the oonjal fast enough for me to feel that i was going to throw up.

with the ladies singing "kannoonjal aadi irundal" (one of my fav wedding songs),small coloured balls ( not sure what they were made of, but something definitely soft and slippery) were thrown around in all directions.S actually thought that the yellow coloured ones were laddus and opened his mouth big enough to catch one of them.( Guys!!! )

we went back inside the mandapam and on the decorated stage. the "vaathiyar"(priest) started reciting the manthras which S had to repeat,which he did sincerely but it was damn funny.he has no inclination what so ever to the slokas and manthras and he was just blurting them out like a robot without the much needed stress on the words.i could barely control my smile.

i was given the wedding saree ( the 9 yards silk saree-also called madisar or onbadhu gajam) by S after duly falling on his feet( should have seen his face then!! :-) ).
time to wear the 9 yards..or should i say for others to wrap it around me while i stood absolutely clueless.

thank god for rajam aunty( our long time family friend),who was an expert in this.she managed to tie it around me in no time, and made sure that it wouldn't give up when i performed the countless namaskars and all that.i really tried my best to follow the method, but i could barely remember how she started and ended.anyway,i was decked up with more jewellery now.

nervous about my saree more than anything else, i went up the mandapam to sit with S. more manthras followed and then it was time for 'mangalya dharanam'.

i sat as lightly as i could on my dad's lap !!!( a ritual started when child marriages were the norm). first a wooden rod was placed on my head with mango leaves on it, and a few manthras were recited. the priest explained that the rod was like the one placed on neck of the bullocks in a bullock cart. this ritual signified that we had to balance our matrimony just like the bullocks did when one of them felt tired or that the burden was too much to bear.

a few miutes later the priest announced that 'mangalya dharanam' was to take place and nobody is supposed to shake the hands of the couple once it is over in enthusiasm, as we are not supposed to part hands.and then amidst a shower of flowers S tied the mangalyam and made the first knot, the second and the third were done by my 'nathanars'(sister in law).

everytime i try to recollect what exactly went through my mind at that point, i go blank..coz that was exactly how i felt.i tried to tell myself that i should feel elated, happy or atleast nervous.but i just went blank.i guess that is what one feels at the height of emotions.

Day one-continued...

2008-07-02T17:13:00.004+01:00

the vratham turned out to be very interesting.It was kind of a recap of my entire life till that point.my father had to say my name in my ears thrice just as he would have done during my naming ceremony.there were a lot of other rituals like these and finally my father tied the "kaappu"(sacred yellow thread) on my hand.on the other side S was going through a similar routine.

the rituals done, i began chatting away happily with my friends deepak,sreeparna and her mom who had just arrived.

another thing you could notice in weddings is that everyone wants to talk to the bride and the groom.granted that everyone is curious, but i was damn nervous that i shouldn't blurt out something by mistake." do you know me" is the first question you face.with a memory which fades away lightning quick especially in the matter of faces and names i'm always dumbfounded when faced with this question.depending on my luck i either say "oh yes" or " oh no" .the "yes" is followed by " ok then tell me my name" and " no" by a look which says " how could you???"

my mind says,why the hell do you want me say your name..you should know it very well by now.or ..why do you put up a long face...you are no george bush by the way.

and i hush up all my thoughts and smile as sweetly as i could before some one else starts off the questionnaire again..

i managed to lie down for a few minutes and then the preparations for the engagement started.make up, change of saris and then the engagement began. the "muhurtha pathrikai" wedding schedule was read out and i was given another saree to wear.back to my room, another quick change of saree..( make the pallu longer she has to tie a coconut in it ..somebody shouted) and then back to the crowd.

the customary photographs done.now i rushed back into my room for an extended make up session for the wedding reception.it went on for more than an hour..and when i looked into the mirror i could hardly recognize myself.i had never had so much of cosmetics on my face ever..the most i had was a dab of compact and kajal.oh i just didnt want to go out of the room.i was feeling so self conscious.but people had already become restless outside. i was 30 mins late and had kept S waiting.just then the photographer barged in.i was so nervous that i coudn't even smile for the pics..but somehow managed to do that.with my mil almost as restless as me due to the delay i dragged myself out, walked quickly and got on the dais even before S.

then started the endless row of friends and relatives with gifts and posing for the pictures.i smiled till my jaws ached .finally it was all over by around 10, then the tireless photographer again took us into the room and photoshoot started all over gain with me and S. after 30 mins of clicking we finally had dinner.

my apetite just vanished on seeing the food though everyone had said that the food was wonderful.it had been so from the morning and it continued. guess it was my nerves.

the so called dinner over..now it was back to the room.taking off the make up was worse than putting it on.there were around a 100 pins on my hair and it felt like horse hair.all done and my hair breathing again .thanks to my sweet sis..we got to bed.

and guess what..the power went off again.but i was too tired to even notice this and went back to sleep.

came to know next morning that my sis had walked and jumped over all those people sleeping in the hall and spoke to a couple of guys standing outside and made them switch on the generator.how sweet..

Wedding - Day one

2008-06-26T11:36:00.004+01:00

our weddings are always spread over 3 days !! i know this would sound shocking for a lot of people.all i could hope and pray was for me to come out of this in one piece and keep myself sane througout the length of all the rituals.

so onto day 1 ..Aug 30th,2007

the alarm went off and i woke up with a start..where was i, why did i wake up so early ..oh i was so confused. i could hear voices in the kitchen and then everything came back to me.we had to reach the mandapam before 5.30 am. i shot out of the bed, only to find that the power had gone off and there was very less water coming out of the taps as the overhead tank was almost empty and no power to fill it up.things couldn't get worse than this!!!

everyone was running around, thankfully the kitchen tap yielded little more water than the other ones.so we filled up the buckets from there and headed to the bathrooms.

the power had still not come back and the worst nightmare for a girl, dressing up with an emergency lamp for your wedding ( well not quite the wedding yet ). Anyway, managed to dress up in the dark and then me, my parents and my granny started off for the mandapam while the others followed a little later with the suitcases and boxes.

the agenda for the day went on like this.

vratham - from morning till noon
engagement - from noon till evening
reception- evening till night

and hopefully some sleep afterwards..

My wedding-preparations

2008-06-26T11:32:00.003+01:00

March 28, 2007:

This was my " ponnu paakara" day!!! Sundar (S) and his family came down to my place to meet my family and formally "see" me.It sounded so formal and cinematic, more so that I have been knowing S for so long, that I just wanted to laugh out aloud at the drama that was happening, but managed to maintain a dignified silence. After all the regular high level talks, a few clicks of the camera,bajjis and filter coffee, everybody was happy.

April,2007 ( not sure of the date)

The D - day was fixed at August 31st,2007 :-)

April 14,2007 till the wedding

The best part of any wedding ( atleast for the girl ),SHOPPING !! we started it off on this auspicious day of tamil new year.bought some jewellery for me . this was just the beginning of almost 3 months of intensive shopping.we shopped only on the weekends. i can still remember how much fun all those days were.we( me, my parents and my sis) would start off from home after some heavy b'fast and go from shop to shop buying sarees and other dresses( for me ,family and relatives),jewellery, vessels( copper,stainless steel,silver),things needed for the marriage ceremonies.....the list was just endless.

well, shopping was just one part, getting things stiched was the other and more painful part. The tailors are always over flowing with things to stich, they always run out of people to stich things and perfection is never acheived..either the sleeve is long or short, tight or loose,and it is oh so frustrating. I remember that I was waiting for my stuff even o the day before marriage.

During this period, me and my parents finalized on the traditional wedding card( pink and yellow one in tamil). Me and S wanted the card which was meant for our friends to be something different. But the price you have to pay for " something" different was always on the higher side.

Then we would wonder if we had to spend so much on a card when we could spend it on something useful (already planning, you see!! ). Anyway, we settled to card that didn't too ordinary and at the same time didn't make a hole in our pockets.

Now for what to put on it..we googled and googled ..from shakespeare to every anonymous person who wrote something on love, wedding...and almost anything.from english to tamil to sanskrit..you name it we searched for it..and finally we just gave up.
what finally appeared on the card was a mish mash of verses taken from all the sample cards the shop had, however it turned out to be pretty good.

well, all this shopping went on almost till 2 weeks before the wedding, and i was part of all of it, when my grandmother stepped in to show her authority by saying that the bride-to-be is not supposed to roam around in this fashion.

So i finally took a leave a month's leave from office,and settled down to the cool comforts of home, with everyone from my mother to aunt to granny falling over each other to make me comforatble( in my own home).I was fed with grt food,fruits and juices, didnt have to move a finger and chat and gossip endlessly.What more can anyone want!!

A week before the wedding we packed all the dresses and vessels and everythign needed for the marriage in suitcases and boxes,labelled them and kept them aside. Sounds simple and neat, but the confusion that took place before doing all this was unbelievable.anyway, we were done with that.

August 29th,2007

Woke up early to find that it was just pouring outside.Everyone was upset and worried if this would continue till the wedding. i was excited coz today was my mehndi day.nothing like the north indian weddings.but me and my sister went to the beautician to get it done. back home we sat with our hands and legs spread out under the fan while my mother fed me( this is bliss!! )..butsoon it started getting painful . finally when i took out the mehndi , the beautiful red color turned the pain into joy.

not much to be done on that day. when we finally went to bed, none of us could sleep. atleast i couldn't bat an eyelid. it was raining like hell,the thunder and lightning adding up to all the excitement. my sis told me that this would be my last night at home and suddenly all of us started feeling awful.somehow one by one we started talking about my childhood, my pranks and about those good old days. we talked and talked till we dozed off unknowingly.

that night would remain in my memory forever.

I'm back...for good !!!

2008-06-26T11:31:00.002+01:00

Yes..I'm back.I know this is the nth time i'm saying this, having disappeared from this space far too often.but this has been the longest, 15 months to be exact.Incidentally, these 15 months have been the most eventful ones in my life.my title has changed from Miss to Mrs, we've moved abroad, the latter being the most unexpected.

life has definitely changed and I'm constantly trying to keep pace with it.
anyway, i hadn't planned on writing about anything specific till the time i started typing. but now i so badly want to recount my wedding and the experiences and events leading upto the most memorable day in my life.

this might not be as interesting as an abhi-ash wedding !!! but somehow all indian weddings are fun..and so was mine.
i know that my cousin sriram (something to chew on) has already given a detailed account of it in his blog, but i would still like to go ahead.

so happy reading !!!

Mozhi..the language of silence

2007-03-11T09:16:00.000Z

amidst all the coughing and flu this weekend, i watched a movie..in the theatre !!! well, we had booked the tickets last week, when i was still untouched by flu. and i was feeling better after those 5 tablets and one pricking injection doing their job quite well. i was up on my legs and managed to convince my dad too.

well, it was a long time since all of us ( dad, mom, sis and me) went out for a movie, the last one being "chandramukhi" an year back. this time it was "mozhi", another tamil movie.

to tell you the truth, i was actually watching a good tamil movie after a long time. no bloody stunts, no item numbers, no vulgar comedies and best of all ..no tear jerking sentiments. well then were you watching a chinese movie, you could ask..!!!

believe me, it was a tamil movie with all the characters drawn out of the real life that you could relate to them. the songs are hummable, the humour actually makes you laugh and the acting was well within realistic limits. another thing i liked in it was that it didn't make you sympathise with the hearing and speech impaired heroine, but it actually treated her like any other girl.

so just thought that i should give some space for this star among meteors in my blog and here it goes.

smile.. the language of love

2007-03-11T09:03:00.000Z

i was walking to the bus stop to catch the bus to my office.. as i do daily. on my way, i saw two little girls plucking flowers from a plant which had grown out from a house. i was trying yo find out what flowers those were, when one little girl turned back and instantly smiled at me.
i found myself smiling back at her immediately, and waved at her. she became even more happy and waved back.

somehow that girl and her smile had managed to brighten my day. sometimes, all it takes to clear your cluttered mind is a smile. it is most easiest thing to do, and it makes even the most villianic of faces look pleasing. i think to myself, if someone else had smiled at me in the same way, would i have smiled back?? no. i start thinking of the reason behind the smile, of whether i had seen that person before, or wonder if he is mentally stable !!

that girl never thought of all this. but just smiled.

i look back and stare at the little girl, this time envying her!!

Fun and Flu !!!

2007-03-11T08:35:00.000Z

last week was one full of hectic activities !! and loads of fun ..:-) well, it was my teammate arun's marriage at "avinashi". this is a small and busy town near tirupur, which is near coimbatore..which is ..ok forget it.

so we all (8 of us in my team) decided to go there. we left chennai on tuesday 6th of march by the trivandrum express. we managed to spend all of the 7 hours playing cards and dumb charades. finally we got off at 11 in the night at tirupur where a car was awaiting. so off we went to avinashi and to the marriage hall. had so much of food at 11.30 ( hot dosas and chapathis..), that we just flopped on our beds at the hotel.

at around 2.50 pm, there was a scream and all 3 of us woke up and then "takk" the power went off. ( there were 3 of us girls in the group). it was like a scene from a thriller movie. we could hear people speaking, but were too scared to open the door. so we called the guys from our team sleeping in the next room. one poor guy picked up and spoke groggily, and i was speaking to him almost breathless.

what he came out and saw will surely rank as one of his memorable experiences. 3 guys drunk to the brim, were lying on top of each other right in front of our door. don't know how they had the sense to switch off the main switch of our room. anyway, they managed to make these guys go inside and got the power back.

but we were quite shaken by this, and my head started throbbing with pain. i dozed off after half an hour of anger, helplessness and cursing in my mind.

well, the marriage next morning went off fine, and our train back to chennai was only at 10.30 pm. visited the avinasi lingam temple and off we went to "black thunder" .

we had so much fun from around 12 in the noon to 5.30 in the evng, that at the end of it none of us could even put one step forward. personally, i was having a good time with a group after school and college tours. anyway, on the way back we also visited marudhamalai ( didn't want to leave out anything) !.

the cheran express threw us into chennai the next day morning. and i went into my bed straight away and found myself waking up to the afternoon sun at 1 'o clock.

all was well, but the next day i found my throat hurting so much that i couldn't swallow. always the first sign of impending danger. rightly so i found that i couldn't sit in office the next day and ran home, only to be told by the doctor that i had all the symptoms of "flu".

well,well, well...after some earfull and "i told you so" from my parents and popping five tablets for the past 2 days into my painful throat..here i am narrating.

all in all, it was good fun despite the flu ;))

PS: think before you get into the water at black thunder, it needs some serious cleaning.

school days- 1

2007-03-03T10:35:00.000Z

the first incident that came to my mind on my school days was this.

well, all my schooling from 2nd std to 12 th std was done in a small town ( my dad loves to call it semi urban !!) called rajapalayam. it is 2 hours drive from madurai..all in tamilnadu.
so i joined a small school in 2nd std, and that was quite a modest one by all means. nothing much i can remember of that. then for the 3rd std, i got into the best school in that town, chinmaya vidyalaya. this was the best , coz they insisted that u spoke in english, which was unheard of in that part of the world..and i was going to learn hindi :-) .

anyway, so the little girl (me!!) trotted into the class on the first day and sat down. (now comes the best part. ). the teacher asked us all to take out the notebooks and guess what this stupid one took out?? a big, black slate !! the whole class burst into laughter. even the teacher was amazed. even in that small town, people didn't bring slates to school and that too in the 3rd std.

i still don't know if it was my parents who asked to take that or me. but the first day was such a big embarrassment and i was in tears. and to top it all i was in the wrong section and asked to leave halfway through the class.

whew..so much for the first day !! :-)

School days !!

2007-03-03T10:24:00.000Z

just thought of going down the memory lane a bit..think about things good and bad, the great deeds done and some of the not so great ones too. not sure how honest i can be. and one more decision i made ( which is not entirely my own idea), is that i'm not using caps in my blog unless absloutely necessary. you know it is so liberating to know that i don't have to press the shift key at the beginning of every sentence. i saw this style in another blog and found it quite interesting. well, some things can be imitated !! :-)

ok, now back to the point..so from now on, whenver a blog of mine carries this title, get ready to walk down the memory lane . but i'mm not planning to put these down in any order of time.so you may find me in 1st std some time and then in my 12 th. so bear with me.

Asian games...a dream ending

2006-12-16T08:56:00.000Z

I was watching the closing ceremony of the Asian games held in Doha, y'day night. It was a fantastic end to the games. The closing ceremony was based on the Arabian nights stories. Alibaba, Sindbad and Aladdin came alive in front of the audience.

Just imagine what would've been the theme if this was held in India? Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra dancing to hit bollywood songs !!! Sonu Nigam and Sunidhi Chauhan singing popular numbers..and the whole setting would have resembled a bollywood movie. Infact we got a glimpse of what would happen in the Common Wealth games in 2010, ( or is it 11?? ) in the closing cermony of the previous c'wealth games.

In the handover ceremony where the country which will host the next edition, (which is India), we had Aishwarya Rai, Rani Mukherji , Sonu Nigam ,Sunidhi Chauhan and Shreya Ghosal.

Does Indian culture mean only Bollywood? I feel that we are presenting such a homogenised image of ourselves to the world. A look at the Doha opening and closing ceremony should put us to shame. It was such a vibrant and colorful presentation of their culture, folklore and people. China which is hosting the next Asian games, came up and presented a fabulous show at the end.
I could not find one hot movie star in it.

We are so good at celebrating the mediocre and not care about performers. That is why, we could find Ash and Rani running with the olympic flame when it came to India, and not many sports persons.

I don't think we deserve to be called a culturally rich country. What is the point of having such a diverse and heterogenous culture and people when it is not being made known to the outside world. Then there is no point in cribbing when people abroad visualise of magicians,snake charmers and elephants when talking of India.

My Best friend's wedding - Part one

2006-11-19T17:20:00.000Z

There was a silver lining to all the fickle happenings over the past few days, and that was my friend's wedding which took place last weekend ( 12th Of November, to be precise).

It was a wonderful experience in many ways. Generally we all go to weddings, right at the time of muhurtham, wish them well and fill our stomachs with all the goodies. But this was one mariage in which I was very much involved in the so called backstage work, which most of us do not get to see.

The girl in this case was a Bengali and the guy a Kannadiga. With not many people attending the wedding ( it happened in b'lore), due to the distance from Kolkata, it was left to a few relatives and friends to really manage the show on the girl's part.

Both the bride and the groom are really close to me, having worked on the same team for quite some time. So it was wedding bells for them after quite a marathon struggle to make this happen.

The wedding proved to be a confluence of cultures. I was made into "Kalash githi" , one who carried a kalash and remained by the girl's parents side for the entire marriage, as is the kannada custom. While I initially hated my frind for making me do this, I began thanking her later on, as I could get a great view of all the customs.

Indian marriages... Call them extravagant, call them ritualistic, complex and too long, you can never deny this..they are never boring.There is never a dull moment in them.There is so much of joy and best part of it is that they bring everyone together.(Atleast they are supposed to, but sometimes they turn into gossip melas)

Coming back to this wedding, it was mostly based on Kannada customs. To begin with, the bride performed Poojas for Tulsi and gauri. The came Kasi Yatra, where the groom starts off to Kasi, and the girl's father stops him midway and offers his girl's hand. With no other way other than accepting it, ;)) the groom changes his course of action. :))

When the girl was taken to the manadapam, a screen was held between the bride and the groom. The purohits chanted matras for about 15 mins, then right when the screen came down, the girl and the boy had to throw the Akshatha( rice and kumkum mixed) on each other.It is believed that the person who throws it first gains control of the family. They turned out to be a balanced couple as both of them threw it at the same time.

The climax was when the mangal sutra was tied by the groom..but there a was twist to this tale, a good one at that. As per the Bengali custom , sindoor was smeared on the girl's forehead, followed by covering the head with ghoonghat( a saree), all this happening with the sound of konch( shankh).

It was fantastic to see both the families taking pains to see that each other's tradition is followed and understood by the other person.

In all, I was treated to a sumptuous Indian wedding feast.
Wishing Deepak and Sreeparna a great life ahead :-)

PS:I've not narated much of the backstage action, hopefully that would follow in the next blog.

I'm back !! Am I ??

2006-11-19T16:49:00.000Z

I can't believe that it has been almost 2 months since my last blog. whew....2 months.I feel as if it has been 2 years. I look at my self in the mirror and feel that i've really aged since then.
I knw i've really gone through and still going thru a lot of things during this time. I've confided in my sister, who is my best friend and to another close friend of mine, all that I wanted to. But nothing seems to get me out of this rut.

But now, right now, when I'm pouring my heart out into my own blog, I feel so relaxed. This is my own space, one that I had created to put my mind at rest. How could I forget this. Why was I searching for peace outside, when I just had to look within..?

It is amazing how problems make a person react. Some just withdraw into a shell, and wait till it is over. Some just take it head on, and drive it away. Some others just live with it. Well, I'm doing a bit of all.!!! This is the toughest test I've ever faced in my life. So initially I went into a shell, did nothing but feel bad for it, cursed myself and the fate. Then I thought that I have to face it, and did that. Now, when some factors beyond your reach seem to control the problems you have , you learn to live with it and I'm doing that.

Is Indian society a curse on individulas or a boon? Everyone has their own answers depending on their experiences. While it is true that our society is much more closer, in the sense that we get together on any small excuse, it is equally true that we are a very hypocritic society. We don't talk about sex , but we are exploding with children. We enjoy and cheer love marriages in movies, but when one happens in our own families, we fret and fume.

Ok, why am I talking about this society now all of a sudden..Is it becasue I'm personally being affected by it? Could be!! if you are girl, unmarried and in your mid twenties, it is a curse to remain like that. Either you get married and please everybody, or just run away to timbuktoo. It is at this age, I've found out that there are so many and many people worried about getting you married off. Well, I seriously didn't care about these so called well wishers.

The problem arises, when you bring a boy of your choice to your parents. Then all hell breaks loose. Now I don't want to explain the reactions. You can take it from those innumerable Indian movies( of any language). After all those tears, anger and emotions, just when you feel that things are falling into place, and when I started feeling that things have been smoother than expected, there comes a cold reminder that , it is not to be.

I don't know if it is my destiny that I get everything after so much of struggle, ot it is like that for everyone. I just hope that all this pays off at the end.

All is well that ends well.But... where is the end???

PS: If I sound confusing, it is because I'm confused. I'm just putting all my random thoughts into words here, so please bear with me.

3 @ 20

2006-09-24T18:14:00.000+01:00

Had a very different experience this Friday. I had been to " Alliance Francaise" ( French Embassy), with friends to watch 3 @ 20. As the name says, there were 3 plays staged, each one 20 minutes long. Well, I've watched quite a few English plays. But this one could at best be described as a rehersal or a reading.

This was an attempt to bring out budding script writers and give them a feel of what the audience think of their plays. I thought this was an excellent idea. Given the fact that lots of things which are written never get to be read or seen, it is heartening to see these attempts.

The first one was the best of them all. It was about 3 friends meeting after a long time over a drink and reminiscing their past. All of a sudden a girl barges in and starts shouting that the play is so boring. That is when you realise that you are actually watching a play within a play. The best part was when one gentleman in the audience failed to realise that this was a part of the play and asked her to cool down.

The second one was inspired by a real time incident. In this, a wife climbs on a tree and refuses to come down following a quarrel with her husband. As the poor fellow goes about pacifying her, people start crowding around them. This leads to some clever street hawkers setting shop under the tree, turning that place into a "Bazaar".

The last one was the least convincing of the lot. This has a young man from a village falling in love with a rich girl from the city. He has a blind, old grandfather to take care of. The girl's father declares that he can accept this only if the village guy is willing to come and live in the city. For that reason, the father sets out to meet the old man and convince him. But he gets the shock of his life, when the old man turns out to be his own father. The poor young fellow was in love with his own sister !!! The play ends with the young man committing suicide unable to accept the truth.

To say the least, the last one was very filmy as one in the audience put it. I'm not sure what made the script writer choose this story. If he really plans on developing this play into a full fledged one, it would end up looking like a mini Tamil movie, if he doesn't add some interesting twists to it. When we can get all this and much more ( in the form of song and dance) in movies , why would any one pay as much and watch such plays??

One last comment. I don't knoe how many such attempts are on in the city promoting creative talent. But I feel that there should be atleast a dozen more. More so when plays in both English and Tamil are becoming stereo typed ( either mindless comedy or some poor imitation).

Questions unanswered

2006-09-17T09:29:00.000+01:00

Is being on top of a hill with no one around, with no sign of life, being ALONE?
Or is it being surrounded by people, still mentally feeling detached from the surroundings??

Sometimes I feel listless and lonely when I'm with people.Sometimes so content and happy when I'm with nothing else but my thoughts.

What do people run away from when they take sanyasa? Their kin or themselves??
Why do people kill themselves? If the answer is that they cannot tolerate the misery and sorrow of their family, are they not adding on to it by going away?

What is Heaven and Hell??

When your memories end up in people's hearts, to live on forever , long after you've left your mortal remains, you are in heaven.

When the story of your life is something which people trample upon with their feet, for fear that you might come up again, you are in hell.

I thought of this, when I saw one of my colleagues and friend Sriram, being snatched away cruelly from us. He will for sure rest in peace in the Heaven of people's hearts and minds.

Top 5 boring tunes !

2006-09-17T08:50:00.000+01:00

Every other radio station or TV channel releases the list of chartbusters. I just thought why not release my list of the most boring tunes I've heard. The most irrirtating things about these are that they sit on your brain, and refuse to leave. They just keep buzzing on. I've even heard these in my dreams. Ok, so onto the list.

1) The elevator music- One good thing this did was to chase me out of the lifts and make me take the stairs instead. So if you want to make your employees trim, play the most dull and boring elevator music.

2) The call waiting tune- Oh, I don't know how most of them manage to get the same music.I just feel sick of these tunes. If you don't want too many people disturbing you, go on, play these.

3) Stay away - this car is backing up- The music people play when they shift to the reverse gear- Sare Jahan se accha and Vandemataram are the most loved tunes. You are made to lose even one ounce of patriotic feeling you get when you listen to those songs the next time.

4) The calling bell- My favorite ;) Why can't people stick to the plain, old and faithful " ding dong"? Why does the calling bell have to sing? It starts when the person rings the bell, and sometimes goes on and on and on..much like the amaron batteries, even after the person has left.
I've had to shout on top of my voice, to be heard sometimes, coz Mr.Calling bell just can't stop singing.When it starts aging, it squeaks, huffs and puffs to the end of the music. Still people hold on to it. But its a good way to keep people off your homes.

5) This one is not that bad- still it has to be on the list.
The tune on the clock that is played hour after hour, every hour(like NDTV news). you almost feel that by the time the music is done with, half an hour has passed, and its just 30 mins more for the next one.Scary isn't it !!

Well, my hatred is not so much towards playing music in all those places given above, but towards the choice of them.Why can't we be a little more imaginative, in choosing our music, little more zany in our thoughts.

Life is not so boring after all..

PS. Any one is welcome to add to this list. They'll be given a CD/cassette of ..what else, the most boring tunes. hehehe...

Ramayana,Seetha,Chastity and more...

2006-09-16T18:35:00.000+01:00

Page 600- Chakravarthy Thirumagan( Rajaji's ramanyanam). In his epilogue, Rajaji dwells on chastity and the society's interpretation of it. He says " If a woman is molested or behaved at brutally, by a man, for no fault of hers, she cannot be regarded as having lost herself or her chastity. She carries no burden of this incident with her. It is unfortunate that our society feels otherwise"

He says this in the context of the infamous "Agni Pariksha" done by Ram on Seetha. He feels that Rama had done this to Seetha in order to clear people's minds, and not because he was suspicious of her. I don't want to go in depth on why Rama did this.

But what struck me while reading this was the amazing line of thought of Rajaji. I shouldn't have been surprised as he was one of the frontrunners in advocating inter caste marriages, and led by example in case of his daughter.

It is a pity that we had such forward thinking leaders then, and now you can actually count the number of people in public sphere who have such thoughts , let alone boldly airing out these thoughts.

Now we have people burning the effigy of Khushboo provocated by so called leaders, for some non issue.

We have politicians and people standing by a judgement of a father in law marrying a daughter in law after raping her.

How can we call our society a progressive one, when a girl is always held at fault even if a guy makes any sort of gestures at her. " What did you do to provoke him" is the first question the girl faces.

A girl or woman if raped dies a thousand deaths all through her life, by the society contantly reminding her of that incident. And I almost feel nauseated when I see movies and the damning mega serials advocating that the woman should marry the guy who did this to her, no matter how horrible he is.

I can't make myself say anything more on this.

Jai Shri Ram !!!

Interesting passion- Check this out

2006-09-09T06:54:00.000+01:00

"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." -G. W. F. Hegel

Some make their work, their passion. Few others live for it.

I just found a wonderful and interesting hobby, or should I say passion, in one of my cousins.
This kid , Sriram, studying in the 11th std, in Thiruvananthpuram,Kerala, was one of those guys whom I've heard a lot about, but seen very little of.
He is one of those very, smart and intelligent guys whom my dad often raves about.
Recently, he sent me my dad a link to his passion!!.

Well guys, It is surely something you must check out.

http://greatindianrailway.fotopic.net/

This kid seems to be well and truly in love with the Great Indian Railways. This gallery has some of the most amazing scenaries we get to see when travelling by train, snaps of the most exotic Indian railway coaches in greatest detail.
The best part of all this is that he actually embarks on train journeys just to learn about them and freeze them in his memory forever.

Good luck Sriram ..May your journeys continue !!

One night in the train !

2006-09-09T06:03:00.000+01:00

uff...I had finally managed to get into my compartment. I found my seat and shoved the bags under my feet.It was a photo finish, would have put an olympian to shame. My mom was frantically waving me goodbye. I waved her back,and sat down to get my breath back.
It was then that I became aware of my surroundings. Well, I was travelling from Chennai to Rajapalayam, just to visit my dad.
I was allotted the middle berth, and beside me were two not quite young women. On the other side were my tormentors to be, on the side lower berth, two "DMK Karai" dhothi clad,loud and old men. In front of me was a louder mouthed chamcha. This group of people extended till the next 2 bays.
The older guy was an ugly sight to watch.He was trying to eat something all the while skillfully managing to spill more around him than into his mouth. I settled down to reading a magazine.
The best part of my journey started when the older of the guys, who already seemed a little drunk, started smoking.
Well, so what you might ask. Haven't we seen people smoking in trains. But this time I don't know what made me tell him" Sir please don't smoke". The whole party fell silent and was shocked at the audacity of a "chinna ponnu" in their words, asking the great "Thalaivar", ( thats how the chamcha referred to him) not to smoke.
He ignored me in the best possible way. I then told the person near him, and to my surprise he too asked the "Thalaivar" to drop the cigarette. But Thalai was not ready to budge.
Well, now they had ignored me enough, so I raised my voice and said, " If you don't drop it, I'm going to complain the to the T.T.R." That brought the chamcha to his feet, and he started jumping up and down, screaming lots of unintelligebile stuff.
After a few more passengers persuaded,he had to put it down , which for him was like throwing his ego down.
The mutterings continued,as the TTR came in. The surprise element was that he told me that my ticket had been upgraded to 3 tier AC. At that moment I felt like screaming "Laloo Prasad ki Jai" .Thanks to his upgradation scheme.
Before leaving that dreaded place, I caught a glimpse of how politics works. The chamcha, went up to the TTR and said, " Sir, this girl, got into a wrong coach and humiliated my Thalaivar." The TTR ignored his complaint and moved on. But that comment just seemed to show how the politicians make a mountain out of a mole hill.

As I triep cataching some sleep in the cool comfort of the AC, the rest of the people in the group , sneaked into the AC , and were partying with chicken biryani and liquor. This time I decided to keep my eyes , mouth and my nose( the stench was unbearable) closed.

Mind reading

2006-06-18T18:19:00.000+01:00

I'm not a master in reading people. Still after 2 or 3 meetings, I can make out to a certain extent the personality or the level of intelligence of the person.
But something which I can never ever understand are guys who try to flirt for timepass. I mean..I find so funny that even after so many quizzical looks , or even curses muttered under the girl's breath..they don't find it humiliating at all.
And the worst thing is that you have to meet such people day in and day out in the office.
The other day I met this guy in the elevator. He said " Hi , whats your name" . When I answered him, he just said " ok" and looked the other side. I kept looking at him , waiting for him to continue. But he just kept looking everywhere except at me. I felt that this was so ridiculous , and I asked him why did he ask my name. He replied " Just like that". Interesting hobby , isn't it. I was just stumped and he walked out of the elevator.
There is another guy who gives a wide grin whenever he sees me. I had tried showing lots of weird looking expressions, ranging from anger to disgust at him. But he refuses to be discouraged. May be I end up looking like smiling to him. God knows. Or I'm just a poor actor.

But one thing I can never comprehend is the absolute lack of shame in these people. Given a chance I would definitely like to know how they feel when I stare back angrily ...

Being a social activist

2006-05-28T16:02:00.000+01:00

Ok so who is a social activist? One who fights for the people and the society's cause all his/her life. One who survives on bare minimum things he has got. And one who devotes his life to the people. Whose name comes up on your lips when we talk of social activism. Medha Patkar, Vinobha Bhave and the likes of them.
Has it ever occured to any one of us that we would also want to serve the society. Well, I can say that atleast a few of us would have thought so. But then , what is stopping us.
The time involved in it. We are so scared that the little time we get to spend with the family would be lost.
The hassles involved. Well, there are so many hurdles to anybody who wants to do good. We see it on the TV and read it in the news papers. So beter be safe.
There is no money in it. It is really difficult to sacrifice the comfortable if not luxurious life we've been leading and go about helping some unknown person.
The list is endless.
So all of us sit at home ,watch on the TV, read in the news papers about so many people needing help. Some of us become emotional and sad for a minute, feel bad for them , feel sorry for them, utter some prayers for their well being and then flip to the next channel or go on to the next page.
Well this includes me too or so to say included me.
The fantastic Tamil writer Sivasankari, in one of her interviews ,when asked about her interest in social service said this very passionately;" Why do you think social service is something which is meant only for a few people. First I hate being called a social activist . Every human being is a part of the society he grows in , whether he likes it or not.Having gained so much from the society knowingly and unknowingly, he has a duty to give back someting to it.So there is nothing abnormal in helping people. Infact there is something wrong with a person if he is not socially aware, or doesn't bother to help a person in distress. So you should be questioning such people as to why they are like that"
I really liked this view. Coming back to my point, there is really no need to leave your family and friends, your job and your comfort, to help somebody.
If you just have the heart and mind for it that is more than enough.
I got enough proof for my argument yesterday. We were in IIT , Madras as volunteers for an interactive teaching workshop. I didnt have any expectaions out of it and just went there to see what it was all about.

It was an eye opening experience. There were so many teachers from all over Tamilnadu working in a number of rural schools. They were from schools with minimum facilities or sometimes even without that. The children were all first genration learners or even formerly child labourers.
As we were helping the teachers with their group activities like puppet show, salad making and rhymes, so many things dawned on me. The first thing being, the really low self image they have of themselves.If somebody tells me that something is bad about me, I would just stand up to him and say how good are you and I know better about me than you do. That is the level of confidence we have.
But if we were to tell them that they were bad in something, then they would accept it and never every try to improve upon it.
When we taught them a few sentences in English and gave them honest appreciation, we could see their heads go up in pride and happiness.
At the end of the day so many of them came up and thanked us for making them feel good about themselves and helping them unravel their hidden talents.
I was so taken aback beacuse I never went there with the intention of helping someone. Even when I was helping them with their activities, it looked routine though slightly interesting.
But the thing that struck me was how a little time we spend helping someone, can make a huge difference to their lives.
I don't know if they will remember the sentences we taught them. But the confidence they've gained is enormous. The feeling that they can learn and perform someting before a group of people in 2 hours is truly wonderful and worth more than all the money in the world put together.

All this just made me feel, if atleast some of us find time to help someone with what what might
might seem a small task to us but a huge thing for the other person, wouldn't it be some sort of a social revolution??

To reserve or not to !!

2006-05-28T15:04:00.000+01:00

There has been so much talk on the proposed reservation for the OBCs of late everywhere right from the print media , the television, among people..etc. The whole issue has been debated so much that even if I tell someone that I would like to reserve a few seats for a train journey , i might as well be mistaken for being "pro reservation".
Well, I don't want to say anything on whether reservation is right or wrong. I actually don't even know these statistics which the pro and anti reservationists are bringing up to justify their cause. Moreover, there are a lot of schemes for the poor and the OBCs that created as much if not more hype when being introduced, but which then sank without a trace and are just limited to the policy papers. So how this scheme would be implemented amidst so much opposition is also in question.
But amongst all this hype and drama surrounding this issue , one thing has intrigued me. One of the or should we say the main reason the anti reservation group is crying itself hoarse, is that if OBCs are allowed to come into mainstream or the so called elite IITs and IIMs and the AIIMS, there would be complete mediocrity all around.
Now I really wonder how much of quality is available in the products of IITs and IIMs as of now. If the quality was anywhere near as is being told to us repeatedly, then we should have been a nation of powerful CEOs , brilliant engineers and our healthcare system should have been among the best in the world.
But we are nowhere near it. Our engineers nowadays be it mechanical, civil, electrical or any branch want to be in the sofware industry. They don't care if they sit all night and do some junk production support work which is equivalent to a call centre job.There are very few who will actually venture into research or innovating something worthwhile.
Our IIM graduates latch at the first oppurtunity they get to work abroad and don't mind settling there. Again there are very few who would want to turn into employers.
And finally our doctors who are leading the anti reservation protests steal the show with their fantastic sense of responsibilty and duty.
There are so many doctors passing out of our medical colleges.But how many of them are working in the rural areas. The government hospitals are always a picture of neglect, with the doctors there spending more time in their own private clinics. The less said about our rural health care the better it is. There have been so many reports of malnutrition among children and I wonder where the doctors are at that time.
So my point is there is already so much mediocrity among our students and the reservation for the OBCs is actually not going to introduce it. But as I said earlier it remains to be seen if the OBCs and the poor ones at that will benefit from this.

I wonder how the students would have reacted if the government had announced that there are going to be separate engineering ,medical and management institutions for OBCs . I can swear that nobody would have bothered to raise a whisper because their seats are now untouched and their elite and holy institutions will not be dirtied by the bad OBC blood.
In that case we would actually have more number of OBC doctors and engineers passing out. We would still have mediocre graduates right?? we would still have a divided society right??

But then all this talk of mediocrity would have been thrown out of the window.
So I think the struggle now is not so much for saving India out of mediocrity or creating a caste less society. It is more about cementing the position the other castes have been holding for centuries. The message I'm getting out of all this anti reservation protests is " Get lost you OBCs and SC/STs, don't even dare to venture into our territory. If you really want to come up in your life, we will not care to give you a helping hand , rather we would push aside someone trying to do so".

And finally, if they do not want reservation so badly, how many of them would actually promise that each one would help one OBC or SC/ST student reach to the level of writing a JEE or a CAT.
Sadly the honour of cracking the joke of the century goes to me ...

Breaking News !!

2006-04-17T07:21:00.000+01:00

If you are one of those people who watch NDTV, CNN-IBN , Times Now , Headlines today..etc in no particular order of preference and feel that news reporting has come of age of in India..then I beg to differ.
I'm just beginning to feel that there has been a proliferation of news channels. Just think about it. Don't you feel stifled by the repetition of the same news over and over again. Well you can argue by saying that just because the events are the same, some channel cannot go without reporting them. Thats perfectly fine.

But can somebody really explain the number of breaking news we get every day. I think the channels at the end of the day are just competing for the most number of breaking news..genuine or otherwise.So if you don't have any news..make them.
Conduct sting operations,make a mountain out of a mole hill or if nothing just ask some xyz on the road for an opinion on anything under the sun.

Now you would wonder why is she scraming on top of her voice for nothing at all..
But what happened 2 days back just shot up my blood pressure higher than the Chennai heat .
As we all know or have been forced to know that the one and only Sallu ( Salman khan) has got a jail sentence rightly for his stupid ( what he thought was brave) and cruel act of killing the black buck. After spending a night in jail he came back the next day with a mortified look on his face and god knows what on his mind.
The shocking part of this whole story is that there was a huge crowd of fans welcoming him..and he as he does in his movies took off his shirt and his fans were delirious with the "dharshan".
More " shock and awe" followed, as the news channels were jostling around to get a few words out of his mouth.
CNN-IBN got its entertainment editor himself there, coz the bacha reporters obviously did not measure up to the occasion. Just look at the questions and pleeeease tell me,if all this energy I've put into typing all this is justfied or not.

Glossary
********
EE- Entertainment Ediitor
S-Salman
Me(of course in my mind)

EE: Hi Salman, what do you feel about the fans outside.
S: Its because of them that I'm here.
Me: Oh I thought it was beacuse of the judge who granted you bail..!!anywayz..!!

EE: ok, can you tell us the one thing or the one person who you missed the most.
S:Obviously it was my mother ( and gives a sad smile)..
Me: Poor sallu. He could have done a Dharmendra style " Maa..." it would have been even more effective than the tear jerking serials.

EE:(with a smile ) ..can you tell us how did it feel to be in the jail..!!
S: @#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%#
Me: Give me a huge break..!! Mr. EE, can you please tell me , is Salman is a freedom fighter or now that its been a long time since we got freedom, did he go to jail fighting for a great cause, or for the poor or the deprived ???
Then why the hell is being given such royal treatment.
Why is he made to feel so important by all the news hungry channels like yours?
Why is he not allowed to feel guilty for what he's done?

Everyday there are hundreds of people going to jail and coming out on bail..and there are so many innocents being punished for no mistake of theirs.
Why do you make such a hue and cry about one criminal , be it a huge star, one poacher who has no other way out but to accept his crime?
Let me give you an idea for the next big breaking news.
Get all the poachers who killed the tigers in Sariska and do a series of interviews on them.
Ask them how it felt when they killed those poor animals and so on.

After all this when I switched to another news channel , you should be able to guess what was in there..An Exclusive with Salman...!!!
Unwilling to let my mercury soar more than this..I did what I should've done long time back.
Switched off the Idiot box..and tried to get some fresh air and my sanity back.

Its Woman's Day !!

2006-04-06T08:01:00.000+01:00

Its Woman's Day !!
And a shower of praise all around,
"You've been a great daughter" my dad says,
"You are the most loving wife" my other half smiles,
"You are the world's best mother" my kid hugs me,
"You are the most affectionate sister" my siblong says..

I feel lost and confused,
I'm trying to find myself..my true self,
"Will you help me?" I ask each one of them,
They turn their backs on me ..
Is it because they can't or they do not want to ??

The Real Indian

2006-04-02T16:28:00.000+01:00

I watch cricket on the TV ..I'm happy,
I watch corrupt politicians giving out false promises..I'm angry..
I watch people struggling for one meal a day..I'm sorry
I watch a child working as a labour losing out on its childhood..I scream
I watch reports of women being raped and murdered..
I watch women being harrased on the road..I bleed
I watch patriotic movies..I'm inspired
I watch terrorist attacks..I'm scared

I stop watching and am now back to my routine..of eating,working and sleeping.
I shut my ears and eyes to the reality..
I am a true blue Indian safe in my cocoon .

Twinkling Stars??

2006-04-02T15:44:00.000+01:00

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
How I wonder what you are...

Well,this rhyme just brings a smile to my lips..as my mind goes back to my nursery days.More often than not the kids were and still are judged by how well they are able to dole out the rhymes or just perform in front of the guests,school or in any public gathering .And if the kid is not in a good mood or throws up a tantrum then the worst awaits it.

I remember when I was the guest in my relative's place, the kid in the house was as usual asked to "perform" . The mom specifically asked the kid to sing either "Twinkle Twinkle" or the equally famous " Jonhny , Jonhny" . Unmindful of its mother, the kid sang "Odi Vilaiyadu Paapa" Bharathiyar's famous song for children. I can recall how the mother's expression changed from utter disgust to anger..and she stopped her kid right in the middle and said.."You know , she is very good in English Rhymes..just that she is a little scared on seeing you all !!" I just looked around to make sure there were no aliens from another planet to scare the little one. May be the mother was referring to herself !!

My heart just goes out to the kids who are made to do all sorts of things so that they can go around saying that my kid is the best. Whereas in reality, they are no more than a ringmaster and a scared to death tiger in a circus.
I wonder what the very same parents would do if they are in the child's shoes..Imagine the child introducing its father t0 its friend " Hey you know my father is a great dancer, common daddy dance ." When he doesn't dance , the child might even say.."He only dances to my mother's tunes you know.!! "

My aunt argues that in doing all these she is removing the stage fear and making the child fearless. She's right in a way..the stage fear is gone..but the fear of failure is instilled very deep in their minds. For, one wrong move , and the child could be in deep trouble for embarrassing the whole family. I'd say..you asked for it in the first place.

This is no exaggeration at all. I've really seen kids who go through this huge parental pressure to not only do their best, but to win every time, just lands on the earth with a big "thud" the minute it fails.Neither the parents nor the kid knows how to handle it.

Are we creating twinkling stars or falling meteors?

Ripples In My Mind

2006-03-24T07:51:00.000Z

Each person I meet, Each event I come to know of or see creates a ripple in my mind. Sometimes small ones, sometimes big enough to be a wave...

Small or Big ..I want those ripples to be reflected here before they fade away..