There was a silver lining to all the fickle happenings over the past few days, and that was my friend's wedding which took place last weekend ( 12th Of November, to be precise).
It was a wonderful experience in many ways. Generally we all go to weddings, right at the time of muhurtham, wish them well and fill our stomachs with all the goodies. But this was one mariage in which I was very much involved in the so called backstage work, which most of us do not get to see.
The girl in this case was a Bengali and the guy a Kannadiga. With not many people attending the wedding ( it happened in b'lore), due to the distance from Kolkata, it was left to a few relatives and friends to really manage the show on the girl's part.
Both the bride and the groom are really close to me, having worked on the same team for quite some time. So it was wedding bells for them after quite a marathon struggle to make this happen.
The wedding proved to be a confluence of cultures. I was made into "Kalash githi" , one who carried a kalash and remained by the girl's parents side for the entire marriage, as is the kannada custom. While I initially hated my frind for making me do this, I began thanking her later on, as I could get a great view of all the customs.
Indian marriages... Call them extravagant, call them ritualistic, complex and too long, you can never deny this..they are never boring.There is never a dull moment in them.There is so much of joy and best part of it is that they bring everyone together.(Atleast they are supposed to, but sometimes they turn into gossip melas)
Coming back to this wedding, it was mostly based on Kannada customs. To begin with, the bride performed Poojas for Tulsi and gauri. The came Kasi Yatra, where the groom starts off to Kasi, and the girl's father stops him midway and offers his girl's hand. With no other way other than accepting it, ;)) the groom changes his course of action. :))
When the girl was taken to the manadapam, a screen was held between the bride and the groom. The purohits chanted matras for about 15 mins, then right when the screen came down, the girl and the boy had to throw the Akshatha( rice and kumkum mixed) on each other.It is believed that the person who throws it first gains control of the family. They turned out to be a balanced couple as both of them threw it at the same time.
The climax was when the mangal sutra was tied by the groom..but there a was twist to this tale, a good one at that. As per the Bengali custom , sindoor was smeared on the girl's forehead, followed by covering the head with ghoonghat( a saree), all this happening with the sound of konch( shankh).
It was fantastic to see both the families taking pains to see that each other's tradition is followed and understood by the other person.
In all, I was treated to a sumptuous Indian wedding feast.
Wishing Deepak and Sreeparna a great life ahead :-)
PS:I've not narated much of the backstage action, hopefully that would follow in the next blog.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I'm back !! Am I ??
I can't believe that it has been almost 2 months since my last blog. whew....2 months.I feel as if it has been 2 years. I look at my self in the mirror and feel that i've really aged since then.
I knw i've really gone through and still going thru a lot of things during this time. I've confided in my sister, who is my best friend and to another close friend of mine, all that I wanted to. But nothing seems to get me out of this rut.
But now, right now, when I'm pouring my heart out into my own blog, I feel so relaxed. This is my own space, one that I had created to put my mind at rest. How could I forget this. Why was I searching for peace outside, when I just had to look within..?
It is amazing how problems make a person react. Some just withdraw into a shell, and wait till it is over. Some just take it head on, and drive it away. Some others just live with it. Well, I'm doing a bit of all.!!! This is the toughest test I've ever faced in my life. So initially I went into a shell, did nothing but feel bad for it, cursed myself and the fate. Then I thought that I have to face it, and did that. Now, when some factors beyond your reach seem to control the problems you have , you learn to live with it and I'm doing that.
Is Indian society a curse on individulas or a boon? Everyone has their own answers depending on their experiences. While it is true that our society is much more closer, in the sense that we get together on any small excuse, it is equally true that we are a very hypocritic society. We don't talk about sex , but we are exploding with children. We enjoy and cheer love marriages in movies, but when one happens in our own families, we fret and fume.
Ok, why am I talking about this society now all of a sudden..Is it becasue I'm personally being affected by it? Could be!! if you are girl, unmarried and in your mid twenties, it is a curse to remain like that. Either you get married and please everybody, or just run away to timbuktoo. It is at this age, I've found out that there are so many and many people worried about getting you married off. Well, I seriously didn't care about these so called well wishers.
The problem arises, when you bring a boy of your choice to your parents. Then all hell breaks loose. Now I don't want to explain the reactions. You can take it from those innumerable Indian movies( of any language). After all those tears, anger and emotions, just when you feel that things are falling into place, and when I started feeling that things have been smoother than expected, there comes a cold reminder that , it is not to be.
I don't know if it is my destiny that I get everything after so much of struggle, ot it is like that for everyone. I just hope that all this pays off at the end.
All is well that ends well.But... where is the end???
PS: If I sound confusing, it is because I'm confused. I'm just putting all my random thoughts into words here, so please bear with me.
I knw i've really gone through and still going thru a lot of things during this time. I've confided in my sister, who is my best friend and to another close friend of mine, all that I wanted to. But nothing seems to get me out of this rut.
But now, right now, when I'm pouring my heart out into my own blog, I feel so relaxed. This is my own space, one that I had created to put my mind at rest. How could I forget this. Why was I searching for peace outside, when I just had to look within..?
It is amazing how problems make a person react. Some just withdraw into a shell, and wait till it is over. Some just take it head on, and drive it away. Some others just live with it. Well, I'm doing a bit of all.!!! This is the toughest test I've ever faced in my life. So initially I went into a shell, did nothing but feel bad for it, cursed myself and the fate. Then I thought that I have to face it, and did that. Now, when some factors beyond your reach seem to control the problems you have , you learn to live with it and I'm doing that.
Is Indian society a curse on individulas or a boon? Everyone has their own answers depending on their experiences. While it is true that our society is much more closer, in the sense that we get together on any small excuse, it is equally true that we are a very hypocritic society. We don't talk about sex , but we are exploding with children. We enjoy and cheer love marriages in movies, but when one happens in our own families, we fret and fume.
Ok, why am I talking about this society now all of a sudden..Is it becasue I'm personally being affected by it? Could be!! if you are girl, unmarried and in your mid twenties, it is a curse to remain like that. Either you get married and please everybody, or just run away to timbuktoo. It is at this age, I've found out that there are so many and many people worried about getting you married off. Well, I seriously didn't care about these so called well wishers.
The problem arises, when you bring a boy of your choice to your parents. Then all hell breaks loose. Now I don't want to explain the reactions. You can take it from those innumerable Indian movies( of any language). After all those tears, anger and emotions, just when you feel that things are falling into place, and when I started feeling that things have been smoother than expected, there comes a cold reminder that , it is not to be.
I don't know if it is my destiny that I get everything after so much of struggle, ot it is like that for everyone. I just hope that all this pays off at the end.
All is well that ends well.But... where is the end???
PS: If I sound confusing, it is because I'm confused. I'm just putting all my random thoughts into words here, so please bear with me.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
3 @ 20
Had a very different experience this Friday. I had been to " Alliance Francaise" ( French Embassy), with friends to watch 3 @ 20. As the name says, there were 3 plays staged, each one 20 minutes long. Well, I've watched quite a few English plays. But this one could at best be described as a rehersal or a reading.
This was an attempt to bring out budding script writers and give them a feel of what the audience think of their plays. I thought this was an excellent idea. Given the fact that lots of things which are written never get to be read or seen, it is heartening to see these attempts.
The first one was the best of them all. It was about 3 friends meeting after a long time over a drink and reminiscing their past. All of a sudden a girl barges in and starts shouting that the play is so boring. That is when you realise that you are actually watching a play within a play. The best part was when one gentleman in the audience failed to realise that this was a part of the play and asked her to cool down.
The second one was inspired by a real time incident. In this, a wife climbs on a tree and refuses to come down following a quarrel with her husband. As the poor fellow goes about pacifying her, people start crowding around them. This leads to some clever street hawkers setting shop under the tree, turning that place into a "Bazaar".
The last one was the least convincing of the lot. This has a young man from a village falling in love with a rich girl from the city. He has a blind, old grandfather to take care of. The girl's father declares that he can accept this only if the village guy is willing to come and live in the city. For that reason, the father sets out to meet the old man and convince him. But he gets the shock of his life, when the old man turns out to be his own father. The poor young fellow was in love with his own sister !!! The play ends with the young man committing suicide unable to accept the truth.
To say the least, the last one was very filmy as one in the audience put it. I'm not sure what made the script writer choose this story. If he really plans on developing this play into a full fledged one, it would end up looking like a mini Tamil movie, if he doesn't add some interesting twists to it. When we can get all this and much more ( in the form of song and dance) in movies , why would any one pay as much and watch such plays??
One last comment. I don't knoe how many such attempts are on in the city promoting creative talent. But I feel that there should be atleast a dozen more. More so when plays in both English and Tamil are becoming stereo typed ( either mindless comedy or some poor imitation).
This was an attempt to bring out budding script writers and give them a feel of what the audience think of their plays. I thought this was an excellent idea. Given the fact that lots of things which are written never get to be read or seen, it is heartening to see these attempts.
The first one was the best of them all. It was about 3 friends meeting after a long time over a drink and reminiscing their past. All of a sudden a girl barges in and starts shouting that the play is so boring. That is when you realise that you are actually watching a play within a play. The best part was when one gentleman in the audience failed to realise that this was a part of the play and asked her to cool down.
The second one was inspired by a real time incident. In this, a wife climbs on a tree and refuses to come down following a quarrel with her husband. As the poor fellow goes about pacifying her, people start crowding around them. This leads to some clever street hawkers setting shop under the tree, turning that place into a "Bazaar".
The last one was the least convincing of the lot. This has a young man from a village falling in love with a rich girl from the city. He has a blind, old grandfather to take care of. The girl's father declares that he can accept this only if the village guy is willing to come and live in the city. For that reason, the father sets out to meet the old man and convince him. But he gets the shock of his life, when the old man turns out to be his own father. The poor young fellow was in love with his own sister !!! The play ends with the young man committing suicide unable to accept the truth.
To say the least, the last one was very filmy as one in the audience put it. I'm not sure what made the script writer choose this story. If he really plans on developing this play into a full fledged one, it would end up looking like a mini Tamil movie, if he doesn't add some interesting twists to it. When we can get all this and much more ( in the form of song and dance) in movies , why would any one pay as much and watch such plays??
One last comment. I don't knoe how many such attempts are on in the city promoting creative talent. But I feel that there should be atleast a dozen more. More so when plays in both English and Tamil are becoming stereo typed ( either mindless comedy or some poor imitation).
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Questions unanswered
Is being on top of a hill with no one around, with no sign of life, being ALONE?
Or is it being surrounded by people, still mentally feeling detached from the surroundings??
Sometimes I feel listless and lonely when I'm with people.Sometimes so content and happy when I'm with nothing else but my thoughts.
What do people run away from when they take sanyasa? Their kin or themselves??
Why do people kill themselves? If the answer is that they cannot tolerate the misery and sorrow of their family, are they not adding on to it by going away?
What is Heaven and Hell??
When your memories end up in people's hearts, to live on forever , long after you've left your mortal remains, you are in heaven.
When the story of your life is something which people trample upon with their feet, for fear that you might come up again, you are in hell.
I thought of this, when I saw one of my colleagues and friend Sriram, being snatched away cruelly from us. He will for sure rest in peace in the Heaven of people's hearts and minds.
Or is it being surrounded by people, still mentally feeling detached from the surroundings??
Sometimes I feel listless and lonely when I'm with people.Sometimes so content and happy when I'm with nothing else but my thoughts.
What do people run away from when they take sanyasa? Their kin or themselves??
Why do people kill themselves? If the answer is that they cannot tolerate the misery and sorrow of their family, are they not adding on to it by going away?
What is Heaven and Hell??
When your memories end up in people's hearts, to live on forever , long after you've left your mortal remains, you are in heaven.
When the story of your life is something which people trample upon with their feet, for fear that you might come up again, you are in hell.
I thought of this, when I saw one of my colleagues and friend Sriram, being snatched away cruelly from us. He will for sure rest in peace in the Heaven of people's hearts and minds.
Top 5 boring tunes !
Every other radio station or TV channel releases the list of chartbusters. I just thought why not release my list of the most boring tunes I've heard. The most irrirtating things about these are that they sit on your brain, and refuse to leave. They just keep buzzing on. I've even heard these in my dreams. Ok, so onto the list.
1) The elevator music- One good thing this did was to chase me out of the lifts and make me take the stairs instead. So if you want to make your employees trim, play the most dull and boring elevator music.
2) The call waiting tune- Oh, I don't know how most of them manage to get the same music.I just feel sick of these tunes. If you don't want too many people disturbing you, go on, play these.
3) Stay away - this car is backing up- The music people play when they shift to the reverse gear- Sare Jahan se accha and Vandemataram are the most loved tunes. You are made to lose even one ounce of patriotic feeling you get when you listen to those songs the next time.
4) The calling bell- My favorite ;) Why can't people stick to the plain, old and faithful " ding dong"? Why does the calling bell have to sing? It starts when the person rings the bell, and sometimes goes on and on and on..much like the amaron batteries, even after the person has left.
I've had to shout on top of my voice, to be heard sometimes, coz Mr.Calling bell just can't stop singing.When it starts aging, it squeaks, huffs and puffs to the end of the music. Still people hold on to it. But its a good way to keep people off your homes.
5) This one is not that bad- still it has to be on the list.
The tune on the clock that is played hour after hour, every hour(like NDTV news). you almost feel that by the time the music is done with, half an hour has passed, and its just 30 mins more for the next one.Scary isn't it !!
Well, my hatred is not so much towards playing music in all those places given above, but towards the choice of them.Why can't we be a little more imaginative, in choosing our music, little more zany in our thoughts.
Life is not so boring after all..
PS. Any one is welcome to add to this list. They'll be given a CD/cassette of ..what else, the most boring tunes. hehehe...
1) The elevator music- One good thing this did was to chase me out of the lifts and make me take the stairs instead. So if you want to make your employees trim, play the most dull and boring elevator music.
2) The call waiting tune- Oh, I don't know how most of them manage to get the same music.I just feel sick of these tunes. If you don't want too many people disturbing you, go on, play these.
3) Stay away - this car is backing up- The music people play when they shift to the reverse gear- Sare Jahan se accha and Vandemataram are the most loved tunes. You are made to lose even one ounce of patriotic feeling you get when you listen to those songs the next time.
4) The calling bell- My favorite ;) Why can't people stick to the plain, old and faithful " ding dong"? Why does the calling bell have to sing? It starts when the person rings the bell, and sometimes goes on and on and on..much like the amaron batteries, even after the person has left.
I've had to shout on top of my voice, to be heard sometimes, coz Mr.Calling bell just can't stop singing.When it starts aging, it squeaks, huffs and puffs to the end of the music. Still people hold on to it. But its a good way to keep people off your homes.
5) This one is not that bad- still it has to be on the list.
The tune on the clock that is played hour after hour, every hour(like NDTV news). you almost feel that by the time the music is done with, half an hour has passed, and its just 30 mins more for the next one.Scary isn't it !!
Well, my hatred is not so much towards playing music in all those places given above, but towards the choice of them.Why can't we be a little more imaginative, in choosing our music, little more zany in our thoughts.
Life is not so boring after all..
PS. Any one is welcome to add to this list. They'll be given a CD/cassette of ..what else, the most boring tunes. hehehe...
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Ramayana,Seetha,Chastity and more...
Page 600- Chakravarthy Thirumagan( Rajaji's ramanyanam). In his epilogue, Rajaji dwells on chastity and the society's interpretation of it. He says " If a woman is molested or behaved at brutally, by a man, for no fault of hers, she cannot be regarded as having lost herself or her chastity. She carries no burden of this incident with her. It is unfortunate that our society feels otherwise"
He says this in the context of the infamous "Agni Pariksha" done by Ram on Seetha. He feels that Rama had done this to Seetha in order to clear people's minds, and not because he was suspicious of her. I don't want to go in depth on why Rama did this.
But what struck me while reading this was the amazing line of thought of Rajaji. I shouldn't have been surprised as he was one of the frontrunners in advocating inter caste marriages, and led by example in case of his daughter.
It is a pity that we had such forward thinking leaders then, and now you can actually count the number of people in public sphere who have such thoughts , let alone boldly airing out these thoughts.
Now we have people burning the effigy of Khushboo provocated by so called leaders, for some non issue.
We have politicians and people standing by a judgement of a father in law marrying a daughter in law after raping her.
How can we call our society a progressive one, when a girl is always held at fault even if a guy makes any sort of gestures at her. " What did you do to provoke him" is the first question the girl faces.
A girl or woman if raped dies a thousand deaths all through her life, by the society contantly reminding her of that incident. And I almost feel nauseated when I see movies and the damning mega serials advocating that the woman should marry the guy who did this to her, no matter how horrible he is.
I can't make myself say anything more on this.
Jai Shri Ram !!!
He says this in the context of the infamous "Agni Pariksha" done by Ram on Seetha. He feels that Rama had done this to Seetha in order to clear people's minds, and not because he was suspicious of her. I don't want to go in depth on why Rama did this.
But what struck me while reading this was the amazing line of thought of Rajaji. I shouldn't have been surprised as he was one of the frontrunners in advocating inter caste marriages, and led by example in case of his daughter.
It is a pity that we had such forward thinking leaders then, and now you can actually count the number of people in public sphere who have such thoughts , let alone boldly airing out these thoughts.
Now we have people burning the effigy of Khushboo provocated by so called leaders, for some non issue.
We have politicians and people standing by a judgement of a father in law marrying a daughter in law after raping her.
How can we call our society a progressive one, when a girl is always held at fault even if a guy makes any sort of gestures at her. " What did you do to provoke him" is the first question the girl faces.
A girl or woman if raped dies a thousand deaths all through her life, by the society contantly reminding her of that incident. And I almost feel nauseated when I see movies and the damning mega serials advocating that the woman should marry the guy who did this to her, no matter how horrible he is.
I can't make myself say anything more on this.
Jai Shri Ram !!!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Interesting passion- Check this out
"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." -G. W. F. Hegel
Some make their work, their passion. Few others live for it.
I just found a wonderful and interesting hobby, or should I say passion, in one of my cousins.
This kid , Sriram, studying in the 11th std, in Thiruvananthpuram,Kerala, was one of those guys whom I've heard a lot about, but seen very little of.
He is one of those very, smart and intelligent guys whom my dad often raves about.
Recently, he sent me my dad a link to his passion!!.
Well guys, It is surely something you must check out.
http://greatindianrailway.fotopic.net/
This kid seems to be well and truly in love with the Great Indian Railways. This gallery has some of the most amazing scenaries we get to see when travelling by train, snaps of the most exotic Indian railway coaches in greatest detail.
The best part of all this is that he actually embarks on train journeys just to learn about them and freeze them in his memory forever.
Good luck Sriram ..May your journeys continue !!
Some make their work, their passion. Few others live for it.
I just found a wonderful and interesting hobby, or should I say passion, in one of my cousins.
This kid , Sriram, studying in the 11th std, in Thiruvananthpuram,Kerala, was one of those guys whom I've heard a lot about, but seen very little of.
He is one of those very, smart and intelligent guys whom my dad often raves about.
Recently, he sent me my dad a link to his passion!!.
Well guys, It is surely something you must check out.
http://greatindianrailway.fotopic.net/
This kid seems to be well and truly in love with the Great Indian Railways. This gallery has some of the most amazing scenaries we get to see when travelling by train, snaps of the most exotic Indian railway coaches in greatest detail.
The best part of all this is that he actually embarks on train journeys just to learn about them and freeze them in his memory forever.
Good luck Sriram ..May your journeys continue !!
One night in the train !
uff...I had finally managed to get into my compartment. I found my seat and shoved the bags under my feet.It was a photo finish, would have put an olympian to shame. My mom was frantically waving me goodbye. I waved her back,and sat down to get my breath back.
It was then that I became aware of my surroundings. Well, I was travelling from Chennai to Rajapalayam, just to visit my dad.
I was allotted the middle berth, and beside me were two not quite young women. On the other side were my tormentors to be, on the side lower berth, two "DMK Karai" dhothi clad,loud and old men. In front of me was a louder mouthed chamcha. This group of people extended till the next 2 bays.
The older guy was an ugly sight to watch.He was trying to eat something all the while skillfully managing to spill more around him than into his mouth. I settled down to reading a magazine.
The best part of my journey started when the older of the guys, who already seemed a little drunk, started smoking.
Well, so what you might ask. Haven't we seen people smoking in trains. But this time I don't know what made me tell him" Sir please don't smoke". The whole party fell silent and was shocked at the audacity of a "chinna ponnu" in their words, asking the great "Thalaivar", ( thats how the chamcha referred to him) not to smoke.
He ignored me in the best possible way. I then told the person near him, and to my surprise he too asked the "Thalaivar" to drop the cigarette. But Thalai was not ready to budge.
Well, now they had ignored me enough, so I raised my voice and said, " If you don't drop it, I'm going to complain the to the T.T.R." That brought the chamcha to his feet, and he started jumping up and down, screaming lots of unintelligebile stuff.
After a few more passengers persuaded,he had to put it down , which for him was like throwing his ego down.
The mutterings continued,as the TTR came in. The surprise element was that he told me that my ticket had been upgraded to 3 tier AC. At that moment I felt like screaming "Laloo Prasad ki Jai" .Thanks to his upgradation scheme.
Before leaving that dreaded place, I caught a glimpse of how politics works. The chamcha, went up to the TTR and said, " Sir, this girl, got into a wrong coach and humiliated my Thalaivar." The TTR ignored his complaint and moved on. But that comment just seemed to show how the politicians make a mountain out of a mole hill.
As I triep cataching some sleep in the cool comfort of the AC, the rest of the people in the group , sneaked into the AC , and were partying with chicken biryani and liquor. This time I decided to keep my eyes , mouth and my nose( the stench was unbearable) closed.
It was then that I became aware of my surroundings. Well, I was travelling from Chennai to Rajapalayam, just to visit my dad.
I was allotted the middle berth, and beside me were two not quite young women. On the other side were my tormentors to be, on the side lower berth, two "DMK Karai" dhothi clad,loud and old men. In front of me was a louder mouthed chamcha. This group of people extended till the next 2 bays.
The older guy was an ugly sight to watch.He was trying to eat something all the while skillfully managing to spill more around him than into his mouth. I settled down to reading a magazine.
The best part of my journey started when the older of the guys, who already seemed a little drunk, started smoking.
Well, so what you might ask. Haven't we seen people smoking in trains. But this time I don't know what made me tell him" Sir please don't smoke". The whole party fell silent and was shocked at the audacity of a "chinna ponnu" in their words, asking the great "Thalaivar", ( thats how the chamcha referred to him) not to smoke.
He ignored me in the best possible way. I then told the person near him, and to my surprise he too asked the "Thalaivar" to drop the cigarette. But Thalai was not ready to budge.
Well, now they had ignored me enough, so I raised my voice and said, " If you don't drop it, I'm going to complain the to the T.T.R." That brought the chamcha to his feet, and he started jumping up and down, screaming lots of unintelligebile stuff.
After a few more passengers persuaded,he had to put it down , which for him was like throwing his ego down.
The mutterings continued,as the TTR came in. The surprise element was that he told me that my ticket had been upgraded to 3 tier AC. At that moment I felt like screaming "Laloo Prasad ki Jai" .Thanks to his upgradation scheme.
Before leaving that dreaded place, I caught a glimpse of how politics works. The chamcha, went up to the TTR and said, " Sir, this girl, got into a wrong coach and humiliated my Thalaivar." The TTR ignored his complaint and moved on. But that comment just seemed to show how the politicians make a mountain out of a mole hill.
As I triep cataching some sleep in the cool comfort of the AC, the rest of the people in the group , sneaked into the AC , and were partying with chicken biryani and liquor. This time I decided to keep my eyes , mouth and my nose( the stench was unbearable) closed.
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